Trouble At The Farm!
by YFIQ
Summary: Mordecai and Rigby decides to tip a cattle, leading to usual consequences any pranksters would face. Contains lemon...lemons...tons of lemons!
1. Cow Tipping

One day, two groundskeepers of a nearby park named Mordecai and Rigby made their way to the farm after hearing about a cow that farmer Bob have imported from Asia. The two were supposed to be cleaning the park after they threw a party which quickly grew out of control the other night when Benson was at the anger management seminar, needless to say it didn't end well after another apocalyptic disaster triggered by Rigby when he stumbled upon three giant red trucks that combines to form a mecha. It was due to a help from their coworker, Skips thanks to his knowledge of a ancient alien mythology related to the mysterious mecha that the disaster have been averted.

However, it wasn't over that night as one of their guests wasn't happy about the party ending abruptly and refuses to leave. Because of this, they had to challenge him to a basketball game in which whoever scores twenty points first wins.

After a long and grueling battle, Rigby was able to pull off a victory due to a deal with a mysterious being during the break, leading to another trouble as Mordecai and Skips had to go and save him. This would lead to another adventure as the duo risk their lives to rescue the talking raccoon despite the latter being the cause of majority of everything that have gone wrong since 2009.

After it was over, the trio returns to their universe in which Skips warns the two groundskeeper of tampering with the fabric of time and space before heading on home. Minutes later, Benson comes in after returning from an anger management seminar only to find the park mostly destroyed due to the incident with a doomsday mecha the night before and threatens to fire the two if they don't clean up the mess by the end of the day.

Just when Mordecai and Rigby were ready to start, an elderly oversized lollipop named Pops runs around like a hyperactive kid on crack yelling, "Have you two heard? A local farm made a foreign transaction of a cattle from China!" before running off.

"A cow from Asia? I got an idea, let's go to that farm and tip it!" said Rigby.

"I don't know man, you know how farmer Bob is when someone trespasses his property, remember what happened the last time you tried to tip a cow?" said Mordecai, recalling there time when the farmer stormed out of the house and punt Rigby into the nearby farmer's market.

"That farmer was pretending to be asleep and I wasn't ready!" the raccoon yelled.

"Yeah, not only that, you landed into the lemon stand and because of that, you couldn't see for a week!" the blue jay laughed.

"Oh god why did you bring that one up? I can still remember the sting in my eyes!" Rigby yelled in horror.

The two then heads off to the farm where they came upon a cattle that neither had seen the last time they came to visit.

"That cow looks different." said Rigby.

"I don't know, I think that's an ox...so it'll look different." said Mordecai.

"Ox, cow, whatever, it's still the same thing, let's tip it before the farmer finds out!"

But then, the ox got up and immediately pulls out nunchukus in each of the front hoof, demonstrating his martial arts skills in a blazing speed. The two park groundskeepers became intimidated as the cattle made it clear that it won't be pushed around without a fight and made series of acrobatic stances before hitting Rigby with a single strike, send him flying into the lemon stand.

"RIGBY!"

The ox turns his attention toward the blue jay and leaps into the air, landing onto the tree branch right above him.

"Whoa, cool." said Mordecai.

The ox then leaps down and slams the weapon onto Mordecai's head, causing him to black out.

The next day in the hospital, the blue jay woke up and groaned, "Aw man...what happened?"

He then saw Benson, Skips, Pops, Muscle Man, and Hi-Five Ghost in front of him.

"Hey, what are you guys doing here?" he asked.

The gumball machine growls and said, "You two idiots were supposed to be cleaning up the park but instead you decided that trying to tip over an animal at the farm is more important."

"Once you guys recover, I expect you to clean up the park or you're FIRED!"

This woke Rigby up, causing him to jump out of the nearby bed in a jolt.

"Oh, it's you...so, hey guys."

Then the entire building shook.

"What the?"

Everyone looked out the window to see a giant lemon monster tearing up the city.

"Hey, that looked just like that coffee guy we met few years ago!" Rigby shouted.

Skips turns to glare at Rigby and said, "What the hell did you do this time?"

"What? Why me? What did I do?" the raccoon yelled.

"That's because most of the phenomenon that occurred in the past several years have been your fault, what have you done this time?" the yeti yelled.

"Nothing!" was the answer.

"We went up to the farm and tried to tip an ox and got beaten up, Rigby was knocked into a lemon stand!" Mordecai yelled.

"Dude!"

"I'm sorry Rigby but this is the only way Skips can help us!"

"Then that lemon monster is after you!" yelled Skips.

"Why?" Rigby yelled.

"That's because you crushed too many lemons and now this creature have emerged to exact revenge against whoever committed the atrocity to its kin!"

Meanwhile, the giant lemon monster was squeezing out lemon juice out of its nipples, hosing the city and blinding many people who didn't close their eyes in time. It didn't take long before the gang fled from the hospital before the lemon monster turns its attention toward the building, destroying it with a burst of lemon juice from its mouth.

"What are we gonna do?" yelled Rigby.

"I don't know, it won't stop until it kills the one it's looking for." said Skips.

"You don't know? Then how are we gonna stop that thing?" Mordecai yelled.

Then suddenly, Rigby has an idea.

"Wait, I got an idea!" the raccoon yelled.

The blue jay and the yeti realize what Rigby was talking about.

"Oh no, no way man, remember what happened last time you tried that?" said Mordecai.

"C'mon man, I have another calculator with me this time!" the raccoon yelled.

After watching the lemon monster continuing to wreak havoc on the city and has set its sights toward the park, that's when Skips said, "We don't have a choice, it could be the only way to stop that monster!"

Giving it a thought for a minute, the blue jay then narrows his eyes and said, "Guess we really have no choice...Rigby, let's do this!"

"Yeah!" Rigby shouts.

The gang then drives off to rent a helicopter.


	2. Divide Zero By Zero

The lemon monster continues its rampage by smashing up the buildings filled with people and dousing the streets with lemon juice when a helicopter flies in.

"Remember, we have only one shot at this, screw this up, you're both fired!" Benson yelled.

"Benson, when did you rent a helicopter?" Rigby asked.

"This is none of your business!"

"Okay, just saying."

"To be fair, I thought it's suspicious as well, especially since I don't think you have enough money to afford to rent a helicopter." said Skips.

"Hey, do you know who couldn't afford a helicopter? My Mom!" Muscle Man butts in.

"Shut up Muscle Man, that joke isn't funny!" Mordecai yelled.

The helicopter positions itself right behind the rampaging monster as Rigby takes out a calculator and types in...

_0÷0_

The raccoon then press the button to calculate the result.

_?_

The calculator begins to glow and Rigby throws it at the lemon monster just before it explodes, creating a miniature black hole that would slowly sucks in the monster screaming in agony. It doesn't take long before the monster explodes into a gush of lemon juice as the helicopter begins to move away to a safe distance before getting sucked into the black hole. Afterward, the black hole begins to expand, pulling in several buildings at once and in time, the entire city begins to break apart, leading everyone in the helicopter to turn to look at Rigby.

"What?" said Rigby.

"Rigby, you said you have another calculator with you didn't you?" Mordecai yelled.

"I did, but I dropped it just before we took off!" Rigby yelled.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"I was going to but there's a huge wind blowing in my face."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Mordecai yelled.

"STOP YELLING AT ME!" Rigby screamed.

The gang heads off to look for the calculator that Rigby dropped and when they did, it turns out the calculator was crushed by a fallen oil tanker what had been picked up and tossed by the lemon monster just a moment before.

"What brand of calculator was it?" Skips yelled.

"I don't know!" was the answer.

"You don't know?"

"I wasn't paying attention, I didn't think it would be that important!" said the raccoon.

"Then was does it look like?" said Mordecai.

"Didn't you look at it? All I remember that it was red in front and has white sides, all see through!" Rigby yelled.

"Then me must head to _Staples_ before it's too late." yelled Skips.

After dodging series of flying debris and bystanders that were getting sucked into the black hole, the gang then crashes through the front entrance of the office supply store.

A store clerk walks up to them and said, "Hey man, can't you read the sign?" while pointing toward the sign that reads, **_No animals allowed!_**

Skips punched him in the face and the gang scatters all over the store to find the right brand of calculator.

Mordecai and Rigby came across an aisle that have been stocked with calculators, only to discover that each brands has the same design.

"You have got to be kidding me..." said Mordecai.

"Let's try out each and everyone of these, maybe we'll get lucky." said Rigby.

The two the proceeds to try out one calculator of each and every brand, typing in _0x0=0 _on every chance they get before passing it onto Muscle Man who then pass it on to Skips who passes it onto Benson who then stocks them up in his car one by one. However, by the time Mordecai and Rigby made their way to the end of the aisle for the final brand, the store suddenly breaks apart and the black hole begins to suck up everything around it. To make the matters worse, Benson and his vehicle were sucked into the black hole along with the calculators stocked inside.

Soon, Skips, Muscle Man, Hi-Five Ghost, Pops, and the unconscious clerk were sucked into the hole, leaving the two slackers holding onto the shelf. While clinging to the shelf, Mordecai grabs one of the calculators that were being sucked away and hands it to Rigby who was hiding in the shelf, saying, "RIGBY, I CAN'T HOLD ON ANY LONGER, THIS IS OUR LAST SHOT!"

Eventually, the shelves were pulled from the ground and Mordecai lost his grip.

"RIIIIIIIIGBY!" he screamed before getting sucked in.

"MORDECAI!" Rigby screamed.

The raccoon then types in, _0x0 _when the shelf came apart.

Struggling to reach for the calculator, Rigby grabs one of the rubble and climbs over it before grabbing the item.

"HERE GOES NOTHING!"

He then presses the "=" button shortly before getting sucked into the black hole.

At that moment, everything stopped and it looked as if time have froze for a minute until the black hole burst, unleashing a massive amount of energy, resulting in a powerful shock wave that would shatter every windows in the entire state. Soon, everything the black hole have sucked in begins to rain back down into the city, even flooding it with lemon juice.

"AAAAAAAAAAAGH, MY EYES!"

Rigby, floating on one of the shelves begins to wake up to find himself surrounded by what was left of the city.

"Mordecai? Skips? Muscle Man? Where are you guys?"

"Please, say something! Even Benson!"

"SOMEBODY!" he screamed.

Then suddenly, the raccoon wakes up to find himself on a hospital bed surrounded by Mordecai, Skips, Muscle Man, Hi-Five Ghost, and Pops.

"Y-you guys...you're all alright...then that means...it's all a dream isn't it? Oh thank god, for a moment I thought that...the lemon monster...the black hole and the calculator...you know...it's all a dream!" he said.

"I know, we're glad you're alright, but what happened...it wasn't a dream." said Mordecai.

"What?"

"They're still trying to drain out the lemon juice that have flooded the city for the past few days."

Rigby looks out the window and saw the construction crew trying to drain out the lemon juice, only to have the machine to blow up, setting some of them on fire.

"Oh..."

Mordecai then sigh and said, "Also, Benson is having a meeting with Mr. Maellard, I think we're fired this time."

Rigby laughed and said, "C'mon, how many times have we heard that one before? Benson threatened to fire us countless times and he never followed through, what makes you think he'll do it this time?"

"Well, for one thing, Mr. Maellard is in charge of the park so Benson may not have much of a choice but to do what he said." said the blue jay.

"Well, this sucks." said the raccoon.

Meanwhile at Mr. Maellard's office...

"Benson, these two imbeciles have ruined the park for the last time and for years I have tolerated their nonsense." he yelled.

"However, things have gotten worse and you will have to fire them because if you don't, I'll personally see to that you won't be able to work here ever again!"

Just as Benson was about to say something, Mr. Maellard cuts him off.

"I want no excuses, I have been taking your inability to keep those two slackers on a leash way too lightly and this has got to stop!"

"It doesn't matter what your excuses are, whether it's because of a gang of unicorns, my son getting high on sugar, the rival park trashing the place due to a prank war, a drugged up ex-basketball star, Dennis Rodman trashing the place because some idiot held a party that night...or a heart attack..." Mr. Maellard continues as he begins to hold onto his desk.

"Mr. Maellard, who would use a heart attack as an excuse for not getting things done?" Benson asked.

Mr. Maellard begins to breathe shallowly and grumble, "I would..." as he drops to the floor.


	3. Dirty Pops

While preparing for the funeral services for the late Mr. Maellard, his son, Pops was nowhere to be found so Benson decides to assign Mordecai and Rigby to go and look for him since the other employees were too busy handling their own arrangements.

"You have to remember, it's because of you guys that Mr. Maellard is gone so it is your responsibility to find his son, Pops and get him to attend the funeral to deliver the eulogy." said the gumball machine.

"Don't worry Benson, you can leave it to us!" said Rigby as he elbows Mordecai on the side.

"Yeah, we'll do it and we won't let you down!" said Mordecai.

Benson was about to say something but stopped before he does so and walks away mumbling, "Can't believe I'm actually trusting those two..."

Rigby pulls out a piece of paper and said, "Mordecai, if we can get Pops to come and attend the funeral soon, we can slip out of the service and look for the treasure in the map I found in Mr. Maellard's desk!"

"I don't know man, it's kind of messed up, almost like grave robbing." said Mordecai.

"Grave robbing? We're not digging up Mr. Maellard's grave and steal his stuff, we took it from his office and we'll take the treasure he kept hidden somewhere in the park, there's a difference. Besides, the guy wasn't even buried yet!" said the raccoon.

"Alright then, lets go and get this one over with, just hope nobody will notice that we're not attending Pop's dad's funeral, it may even hurt Pops!" said the blue jay.

Rigby then rolls his eyes and said, "Don't sweat it, if Pops doe notice, we'll just gave him some of the share we'll find and that should make up for everything."

"That is if we find the treasure, I mean for all we know, it could be a lame prank Mr. Maellard was trying to pull but never gotten around to do it." said Mordecai.

"C'mon man, why do you have to be a glass half empty sort of guy? You're being a buzz kill lately." said Rigby.

The two groundskeeper then heads off to find Pops and decides to check the first place they believe the humanoid lollipops from Lolliland would be if he's not in his room, at his beloved flying Mini Cooper. However, being that it would mean Pops have been driving aimlessly for some time, they will have to wait until the humanoid lollipop returns and when will that happen? No one knows...that is until..."Ow!"

"Hey, watch where you're going you bastard!" someone yelled.

Rigby got up and said, "What are you talking about, you're the one who got in the waaaait a minute...Pops?"

A grouchy looking man with a snarl on his face looks down at Rigby and said, "Pops? Oh yeah, that's right...I'm Pops, so what do you want you punk?"

"Wow, Pops really took his dad's death really hard." said Mordecai.

"Tell me about it." said Rigby.

"Wait, who's dead?" said "Pops."

"Your dad, he had a heart attack, didn't you remember?" Mordecai asked.

"He's dead, whoa...I mean...wow, that sucks." was the answer.

"Hey Pops, just wait right there, we'll get back to you in a minute." said Rigby.

The two then distance themselves away from angry looking Pops and begin to discuss what might have happened.

"Dude, he totally forgot that his old man is dead!" said Rigby.

"Yeah I know, he must have really took it really hard, trying to forget the whole thing and all, it must really sucks." said Mordecai.

Then the blue jay continues, "Not only that, we can't take him to the funeral like this, it'll become a huge disaster, I mean look at him, he even grew hair!"

Rigby went to take a closer look at "Pops" and notice the brown stubbly hair, not to mention he seems to have a mean facial expression as well, come to think of it...he looks like a wrestler. But then again, Pops was a wrestler as Rigby remembers the night when they snuck out to watch a wrestling match, only to get dragged into one due to a misunderstanding that the humanoid lollipop from Lolliland have created. It also didn't help that Pops was mistaken for a participating wrestler known as "Huge Head" who not only never show up for the match, but also inexplicably went missing and was never heard from for some time.

Then again, it was because of Pops that they were able to get out of the wrestling match against professional wrestlers alive and the humanoid lollipop from Lolliland won the golden championship belt. It was also the same night where Mordecai and Rigby were fired by Benson for sneaking out that night when they were supposed to be watching over Pops who injured his back that time (prior to sneaking out to attend the match himself), only for Pops to stick up for them and took the blame, allowing the two groundskeepers to keep their job at the park.

Knowing that they have no time to waste, the two brought "Pops" to the funeral where he was to deliver an eulogy and hopefully, help the humanoid lollipop from Lolliland to move on from the loss. Unfortunately, things doesn't always goes the way one hopes it does as "Pops" grins to himself as he puts on his top hat and thought, "Now Pops, for stealing my identity that night and my chance for glory as a golden belt champion, I will finally get my revenge by destroying your reputation!"

Mordecai notice something strange with Pops and so turns to Rigby who was seated right next to him.

"Pssst, notice something weird about Pops?" he asked.

"I know, he usually hates giving speeches when facing the audience, we even offered to draw a face on the back of his head but he took off just like that." Rigby answered.

"Pops" clears his throat and said, "I know today is a terrible tragedy as the old man have kicked it, but however, what I would like to say is that...YOU PEOPLE CAN KISS MY ASS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"THIS OLD MAN CAN ROT FOR ALL I CARE AND HE CAN POP IT IN HELL!"

"Pops" continues to laugh maniacally as he flips the casket over a Mr. Maellard's corpse spilled right out in front of the shocked audience. Soon, "Pops" then body slams Mr. Maellard's body and got him on a choke hold before snapping off the dead old man's arm like a twig. At that point, much of the audience begins to freak out and that's when everyone realize something was wrong with Pops.

Benson turns to the two groundskeeper and screams, "MORDECAI! RIGBY! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? WHOEVER THIS IS, THIS ISN'T POPS!"

"Wait, what...really? C'mon Benson, I know Pops have been acting strange lately but you have to realize that some people take their loss differently, I mean it's clear that he's mad because his dad died on him." said Mordecai.

"Yeah, and besides, we all get fired up when making speeches so we should just leave Pops to do whatever he wants, he'll get burned out eventually." said Rigby.

"I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU MET THIS GUY BUT THIS ISN'T POPS!" Benson screamed shortly before Mr. Maellard's head was tossed right over him.

Then Skips arrives and said, "I got there as fast as I could, unfortunately there was an accident at the store selling funeral bouquet and there was a delay on getting the burial ready at the cemetery because some moron thought it was a place to sleep."

"With that said...who the hell is that?" the yeti asked as he points toward "Pops" tearing up Mr. Maellard's corpse from limb to limb.

"That's Pops...and he's taking the old man's death really hard." Rigby answered.

Skips shakes his head and said, "This isn't Pops, whoever he is, this lunatic is looking to destroy Pops' reputation from the looks of it."

"Then what are we gonna do?" Rigby yelled.

After finishing his job on Mr. Maellard's body, the imposter runs off screaming and begins to start terrorizing the park.

"We must stop him before more damage is done to the park." said Skips as Benson's car explodes right behind them.

"MY CAR!" Benson screamed.

The bubblegum machine then turns toward a blue jay and a raccoon and said, "MORDECAI, RIGBY, YOU IDIOTS INVITED THIS LUNATIC SO THIS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!"

"IF YOU TWO DON'T CATCH THIS GUY BY THE END OF THE DAY, YOU'RE FIRED!"


	4. Trouble From Lolliland

Mordecai and Rigby hid behind the bushes to watch the imposter taking a piss on Skip's garden.

"Dude, once this is over, we better not tell Skips about this part." whispered Mordecai.

Rigby then said, "Don't worry, besides, it's not like anybody will notice that someone took a piss into the garden anyway."

After watching the imposter trashing Skips' garage, the two groundskeeper made a jump toward the man with a huge head, only to get knocked away without difficulty. Then suddenly, Skips comes up and tackles the imposter and the two rolls into a tree, knocking it over and hits a parked car, resulting in a explosion like something out of a typical Michael Bay movie. That's when dozens of doves begins to flock over, causing Mordecai and Rigby to expect Skips and the imposter to each pull out a gun and point it at each other's heads in a "Mexican Standoff"...as well as the fact that the guns would have unlimited ammos.

However, amidst the confusion due to the unexpected flock of doves flying all over the place, the imposter was able to slip out of Skips' grasp and made his way to the other side of the park. Once it was all cleared, much of the area was covered with white feathers and bird crap, causing Rigby to slip and fall to the crud covered ground, covering him with filth.

"Aw, sick!" said Mordecai as he begins to distance himself away from Rigby.

"Dude, I think you should take a bath before we continue to try to catch this guy." he continued.

Meanwhile, the imposter hid behind the trailer where he heard a loud grunge music being played.

The imposter grins and said, "Heh, so some faggot lives here then...guess he won't mind if I do this!" as he flips the trailer and took off before the occupant could get out to see who it was.

"Muscle Man, are you okay?" asked Hi-Five Ghost as he floats out of the wrecked trailer.

Muscle Man crawls out and squirms before passing out.

"HAHAHAHAHA, THIS IS FUN!" the imposter laughed while knocking down a bunch of trees.

"NO ONE CAN STOP ME NOW!"

But then, the imposter was hit by an oncoming golf cart, knocking him unconscious.

"Well, that was kind of anticlimactic." said Mordecai as he got off the golf cart.

"Tell me about it, we only needed to run him over and he's out." said Rigby.

The two then quickly ties up the imposter and wait for the police that Benson have called to arrive.

At that point, the imposter started to wake up and notice that he have been tied up.

"What the?"

"The jig is up, once the cops shows up you will be out of our sight!" taunted Rigby.

"Yeah, not only that, want to know what they do to people in prison? You're gonna be somebody's bitch in the cell!" laughed Mordecai.

"Ohhhhhhhhh!" the two yelled.

The imposter however wasn't daunted as he begins to laugh and said, "You fools think this will slow me?" before snapping the rope right off.

"By the time the cops arrive, you two won't be around!"

Mordecai and Rigby begins to back away from the imposter who then picks up a golf cart and hits them with it. Afterward, the imposter slams the cart onto the two before they can get up, then jump right on top.

"WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY!"

The imposter then proceeds to start punching the golf cart until the vehicle burst in flames and leap right off just when it was ready to explode. Once the smoke clears, amidst the flaming wreckage, Mordecai struggles to climb out of the crater while Rigby was trying to put out the flames on his fur.

"YEAH! NO ONE CROSSES HUGE HEAD! YA HEAR THAT POPS? COME OUT WHERE EVER YOU ARE YA PUSSY!" the imposter screamed.

Then he heard someone giggling from a distance...

"Hahahaha! What good trip, a jolly good trip!" someone yelled.

The imposter turns toward the direction where the noise was coming from and to his shock, a flying vehicle as heading on its way.

"WHAT THE FU-"

After unwittingly hitting the imposter with his flying mini Cooper, Pops drunkenly staggers out of the vehicle and was singing the broken rendition of "Macho Man" before mumbling, "...Mordecai...Ri-*hic*Ri...Trash Boat..." before passing out.

Mordecai and Trash Boa...I mean Rigby, bloodied and somewhat burnt limped to unconscious Pops before sitting down, waiting for the others to arrive at the scene.

"So, what happens next?" asked Rigby.

"I don't know, I think it's over this time." Mordecai answered.

Once the police arrived, it was discovered that the imposter was a promising wrestler known as "Huge Head" who was supposed to participate in the wrestling championship match. However, as soon as he arrive, Pops, sneaking out to attend the wrestling match that night unknowingly hit him with his car, knocking him unconscious. To make the matters worse, because both Huge Head and Pops have an abnormal size of heads, the latter was mistaken for the would-be contender and would end up taking his place in the bout.

By winning the golden championship belt, not only that Pops have accidentally stolen Huge Head's identity, he have also stolen Huge Head's glory as well. Since that day, Huge Head made a vow to exact revenge on the humanoid lollipop from Lolliland by stealing his identity so he can ruin the guy's reputation in the park...that is until he was struck by Pops' flying vehicle for the second time.

"And that what it's all about?" Benson asked bewilderingly.

"Yes, that's right and I would have gotten away for it if it weren't for you meddling park workers!" Huge Head grumbled.

"You know, I was kinda expecting him to say kids or something, anyone else?" Rigby asked.

Huge Head was taken to the police car where he would be placed in a cell without bail while awaiting trial for the damage he had caused. At the same time, knowing that Mr. Maellard's body have been damaged, Benson contacted the crematorium to have the body burned. Once that was done, the ashes were held inside an urn where another funeral services would be held, this time Pops was available to deliver an eulogy. Unfortunately, because the humanoid lollipop from Lolliland was still far from sober, despite having his face drawn onto the back of his head so he can make a speech while his back was turned away from the audience, he winds up vomiting right in the middle of the session.

Once the funeral service have ended disastrously for the second time, the only thing left to do was to deliver Mr. Maellard's ashes to his household outside of the park. Being that Skips and others were too busy fixing up the mess, Benson has no choice but to entrust the important job to the duo he distrusted the most knowing full well how things can go wrong when it comes to the antics of the two slackers. Afterward, Benson went to his office cursing himself while also wondering how Mr. Maellard finally remembered his name before his heart attack kicked in.

"So Pops' family has another house?" Rigby asked.

"His family is loaded so it shouldn't be that surprising anyway...let's go and deliver that urn so we can start hunting for treasure that Pops' dad might have hidden somewhere in the park, if there is one." Mordecai answered.

"C'mon man, the old man made that map for a reason, it's not like he would do this to screw people over for the hell of it." said Rigby.

"You better be right or it'll be another waste of time and you will be the one to suffer for it." said Mordecai.

As the two heads toward where Pops' family lives, that's when they realize that they have forgotten the direction to the house that Benson told them earlier.

"Mordecai, did Benson told us where the place is?" Rigby asked.

"Wait, you don't remember?" Mordecai yelled.

"I was hoping you did!" was the answer from Rigby.

"Now what are we gonna do? If we go back and ask Benson for the direction, he'll fire us!"

"Calm down Rigby, calm down, I know what we are going to do, we'll just sneak back into the park and ask Skips." Mordecai said.

"Skips? Are you sure he can help us? What if he doesn't know?" Rigby yelled.

"Dude, Skips worked in the park since forever, he has to know." said the blue jay.

The duo went back and made sure the coast was clear before sneaking back into the park.

Carefully, the two groundskeepers made their way to the golf cart garage where the yeti lives. Mordecai then taps the door and said, "Skips, are you there? It's us, we need your help!"

The door opens and Skips comes out with an annoyed look on his face.

"Let me guess, you guys have forgotten the address?" said the yeti.

"How did you know?" Rigby asked.

"You two were never really the attentive ones." Skips answered.

"So will you help us?" Mordecai asked.

"I have to, because you two idiots didn't paid a shred of attention, if you don't deliver Mr. Maellard's ashes by 5:30 p.m., the people from his home land will show up and kill everyone in this city, except Pops since they generally spare their own kind." said Skips.

Mordecai looks at the clock and realize that they have only fifteen minutes to deliver the ashes!

"Holy crap, what are we gonna do? We still don't know where he lives!" Mordecai yelled.

The yeti got onto his golf cart, turns on the ignition key and said, "Hop on, I'll get you there before the time comes!"

The duo does so and soon, the race against time to deliver the ashes begins.

However, in doing so, they also commit series of traffic violations and led a massive car chase in which they have been pursued by dozens of police vehicles. Knowing that they have to get the ashes deliver in time, a prospect of spending time in prison is the least of their worries. After making series of clever maneuvers while on their way to the Maellard's family home, Skips was able to lose the police chase and drove their way into the neighborhood. With little time to waste, Mordecai and Rigby hopped right off the cart and begins to look for the largest house in the area.

The two groundskeeper started to head toward the building when suddenly, a portal appears and opens up. Appearing out of the portal is a group of people, each with a massively round head just like Pops'.

"Arrrg, we have come to pillage and rape this city of its worth for you have not being able to deliver the ashes to its rightful place!" one of them yelled.

Mordecai started to step forward and said, "Look, we're already on our way to deliver Mr. Maellard's ashes and it's close, just wait for just a minute and we'll get there, that way there won't be any need for you guys to tear the city down."

"Not a chance, we'll just kill you two so you fools will never be able to deliver the ashes!" other pirate yelled.

"What? That's not fair, you can't just kill someone just so you can wreck the place!" the blue jay yelled.

"Yeah, if you want to stop us, you can just kiss our ass because we'll get this delivered before you idiots get the chance to do anything!" Rigby yelled.

An arrow was fired and grazed the raccoon in the cheek.

"Eeek!"

Rigby then said, "Um...hey, Mordecai, how about you deliver the ashes while I'll just wait with Skips."

"Wimp!" the blue jay yelled.

"Hey, I don't want to die man, we can't just walk into where these guys will be waiting!" the raccoon yelled.

Then Skips shows up and said, "This won't be necessary, I'll hold these bandits back while you two deliver the ashes, but you have to hurry, I can't hold them off for long!"

"Skips, will you be okay?" yelled Mordecai.

The yeti begins to tackle the pillagers and scream, "HURRY, THERE'S NO TIME!"


	5. Blowing Sky High!

Heading to the largest house in the neighborhood, Mordecai and Rigby made their way toward the family home of the Maellard's.

"So this is the place?" Rigby asked.

"I think so, it has to be!" said Mordecai.

But then, the two groundskeepers notice a figure waiting in front of the door.

"Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, looks whos coming to play!"

The figure then steps out of the shade, revealing himself to be another humanoid lollipop, just like Pops as well, just without the top hat and a mustache. At the same time, he doesn't look anything like Huge Head and the gang that Skips is trying to hold off.

"Let me guess, you're here to stop us from delivering the ashes." said Mordecai.

"That's right!" the figure sneered.

Slowly, a blue aura begins to appear around their new enemy.

Then he fires a blue energy wave at the two, knocking them off the ground.

"Ow!"

Rigby got up and saw the urn rolling toward the gutter.

"Holy crap, the urn!"

The raccoon dove toward the urn and tackled it before it fell into the gutter.

"Rigby, over here!"

Rigby turns and saw Mordecai standing on top of a wrecked vehicle waving his arms...or wings. The raccoon then toss the urn to the blue jay who proceeds to make a run toward the building.

"Not under my watch!" the figure yelled as he toss a broken tail light at the blue jay, knocking him off his feet.

However, Mordecai immediately toss the urn to Rigby who was already on his way toward the window, only to learn that it's made from a shatter proof glass when he slams right into it.

Acting on impulse, the figure launch a blast at the raccoon, blowing a hole on the side of the house.

"DAMN IT!" he screamed.

Seizing the opportunity, the blue jay and a raccoon then runs into the newly made entrance where they would try to find a place to put the urn.

"Where are we supposed to put this thing?" Mordecai yelled.

"I don't know, we were never told!" Rigby yelled.

"Let's put it on the table, maybe that'll work!"

Rigby places the urn onto the table when the figure storms right in.

"YOU CAN NEVER DEFEAT ME AS I HAVE THE POWER OF THE HAMMER!" he roared.

"Why isn't it working?" Rigby yelled.

"I don't know, I think we put it in the wrong place!" answered Mordecai.

Soon, the figure begins to transform, slowly tearing his shirt until he resembles a juiced up version of Huge Head, but much more greyer...or was it grayer...never mind that part but at that point, Mordecai and Rigby have a bigger problem to deal with as they still need to find the right spot to place the damn urn. Seriously, why didn't Benson tell them where to put it? It seems to me that this bastard gumball machine wanted to get on Mordecai and Rigby in every chance he get, especially that burger incident where he ate them right in front of them and laughed about it. Sure they're slackers but some of the crap they have taken seems a bit disproportionate at best, even if they did come close to destroying the universe nearly every single day.

Because the monster has the power of "The Hammer", the two groundskeepers were mercilessly pummeled after trying to punch him to no avail. After being thrown across the room, the monster then yelled, "I HAVE THE POWER OF THE HAMMER, YOU CAN'T WIN, MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The duo struggles to get up while the urn begins to roll away from their reach.

"Damn it, is there anything that can hurt the guy?" said Rigby.

But then, Mordecai remembers that the monster have boasted himself to have a power of "The Hammer"...if that's true then that means...

The blue jay turns to his friend and said,"Rigby, that guy keeps saying that he has the power of 'The Hammer', if it's true, do you think..."

The raccoon became confused and said, "What?"

"You didn't remember? How we beat Hammer?" Mordecai yelled.

"I don't recall..."

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"

The monster then roared once again as he picks up a refrigerator and toss it at the duo, only to miss by several feet.

"Wow, his aiming suddenly sucked." said Rigby.

Then the monster pulls out the kitchen sink.

"HOLY CRAP, HE'S GOING TO USE THE KITCHEN SINK!"

The two friends then split just a second before the sink lands on where they were.

That's when Rigby finally have a recollection regarding "The Hammer."

"Mordecai, I remember now, 'The Hammer' was the guy we beaten in that game!" he yelled.

"That's right and remember what his weakness was?" said Mordecai.

"Furniture!" they both yelled.

Mordecai whispered the plan to Rigby and soon, "On the count of three, one...THREE!"

The blue jay then toss his surprised friend toward the urn before darting off to the side to pick up a chair to fight the monster off with.

"I hope it works." he thought.

As soon as the monster turns his attention toward Rigby who had just picked up the urn containing Mr. Maellard's remains, Mordecai smashes the chair onto his back. In pain, the monster howled. Realizing that the monster does indeed have the same weakness as the video game character they have beaten couple of years before, the blue jay then yelled, "Rigby, it's working, throw the urn to me and you hit him with a furniture!"

"Got it Mordecai!" the raccoon yelled back as he toss the urn to the blue jay.

Rigby then picks up a folding chair and hits the monster in the head with it, causing him to keel over in pain as the raccoon continues to beat him until the seat of the chair came off. The raccoon then runs to the side where he then catches the urn that Mordecai thrown to him, allowing the blue jay to take his turn in attacking the monster by hitting him with a gramophone.

Trying to figure out where he should place the urn, Rigby tried every spot in the living room, even on top of the television. Each time he tried, nothing happened while Mordecai struggles to reach for the lamp as the monster begins to pull him away.

Rigby then slams the television set onto the monster's head and the sparks flies, creating a small fireworks display that send the being roaring in agony.

"Mordecai, we must try the bedroom!"

"Good idea, let's hurry before that monster recovers!"

The two heads up the stairs and after making their way into the bedroom, Rigby placed the urn on the cabinet to no avail. Knowing that they have little time left, the two then use the bed, cabinet, wardrobe, television, jukebox, and the radiogram to form a blockade which does manages to hold up well against the monster. However, in doing so the two groundskeeper also trapped themselves as well since they can't tear down the blockage without letting the monster in.

"Now what?" said Mordecai.

"There has to be the spot in this room, we have to try everywhere!" Rigby yelled.

"It better or we'll all be dead!" said the blue jay.

"Hey, what's your problem?" the raccoon pouted.

"It's your fault that we're in this mess, you had to suggest that he try the bedroom and now look, we're trapped!"

"What the hell man? If I hadn't suggested that, we would have been dead by now!"

Mordecai rolls his eyes and said, "That's funny, usually you would have said..." in his mocking impression of Rigby, "What the hey man?"

"Hey stop that!" Rigby yelled as he jumps on Mordecai's head, causing the two tumble to the ground beating each other up, with Rigby taking most of the damage until he pokes Mordecai in the eyes.

During the scuffle, a rug was pulled right off, revealing a hatch.

The two stops fighting as they caught the sight of the hatch and wonder what it could be.

"Dude, let's open it." said Mordecai.

"Right with you." Rigby answered.

As soon as they opens the hatch, the two then slowly descends down the stairs where it leads them to a corridor. Knowing that they have little choice as the only other route is the bedroom entrance they had just blockaded, Mordecai and Rigby heads down the corridor where they could see a light at the end of the tunnel. The sight surprises them as they're still inside the house, what could it be?

The two continues to head toward the light and that's when the secret inside the house have finally been unveiled.

"So that's the spot?"

The blue jay nods and said, "I guess so, I mean look at the sign right above it!"

_Place the urn there!_

"That's somewhat anticlimactic." said Rigby.

The corridor begins to shake and a roar can be heard.

"I HAVE FOUND YOU, PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM!"

It's too late for the monster as Mordecai place the urn onto the altar and soon, the monster explodes, creating a shock wave that not only level the entire building, it also blows off the entire upper section of the home sky high. At the same time, many of the surrounding homes begins to collapse, leading to millions worth of property damage and hospitalization of countless people.

After realizing that the two groundskeepers have succeeded, the invaders from Lolliland looks at the sight of the damaged neighborhood and one of them said, "Aw man, they actually did it!"

"No raiding and stuff?"

"Yes, let's go home, we'll do it some other time."

The invaders then stops kicking unconscious Skips and one by one, each of them hops through the portal in their way back to their homeland. Afterward, the yeti begins to regain consciousness when he saw Mordecai and Rigby, both looking worst for the wear standing right in front of him.

"Yo Skips, are you dead?" asked Rigby.

Skips groans as he tries to move.

"Whoa Skips, I think you better stay put, we'll call the ambulance to take you to the hospital." said Mordecai.

Later that day, with their golf cart destroyed, the two groundskeepers made their way back to the park where they find their employer, Benson waiting for them.

"Where the hell have you guys been? Where's Skips? More importantly, why is the top half of Maellard's family home lying on top of Pop's house at the park?" the gumball machine yelled as he points toward the severed roof of the building that have crashed through the roof of Pops' house.

Mordecai took a deep breath and said, "Look Benson, about that, I can explain."

Rigby nudge Mordecai in the side and said, "Don't worry bro, I can handle this."

"What happen was that Mordecai, Skips, and I drove on a cart to race against time to put Mr. Maellard's ashes in his home, but then some of Pops' people comes in, trying to attack the city so Skips holds them off while we went to Maellard's house to place the urn somewhere, but then this guy comes in saying that he is like 'The Hammer' and start beating us up."

"But then we found his weakness and held him off until we found a corridor where there's an alter where the urn goes to so we put it there and BAM! The monster blows up, sending the roof sky high and it was finally over...also Skips is in the hospital."

Unimpressed by the story, Benson sigh and said, "Rigby, how many times do I have to tell you about lying? The reason why I posted the deadline just so you slackers would get the job done a lot quicker, and yet you two still couldn't do just that."

Mordecai then butts in and said, "Actually, what happens was that while on our way to the neighborhood, Skips had a vehicle accident and we called the ambulance. After that we went to the Maellard house where we smell the gas leak and the building blew up but we got away in time but the urn was gone so...that's pretty much it."

"Also we had to hitchhike on our way back to the park which took a while so there we are."

Benson face palms and said, "I find this one somewhat more believable but...you know what? I don't want to know what happened, I rather not know." before walking away.

"So does this mean we're not fired?"


	6. Literal

Not long after the mess regarding the Maellards, the park had to close down for a few days to clean up as a result of a disastrous funeral service and the fact that a wreckage of a house have crashed into the building. Once that was done, Skips made his return from the hospital and Pops have inherited the position from his father as the owner of the park, however he still remains as the manager as well since he still enjoys spending time with the employees. It does looked as if Pops have recovered from the death of Mr. Maellard but some of the employees aren't convinced.

"Hey look at that, Pops seems happy but I have a feeling he's still hurting inside." said Mordecai.

"I know man, acting all goofy and all that, it's just not natural." said Rigby.

"Actually, he's always like that."

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot."

Suddenly, they find themselves covered in shadow accompanied by a familiar grumbling voice.

"What are you two doing?"

The two groundskeepers turned to see Skips standing behind them.

"Hey Skips, feeling better?" Mordecai asked.

"I had worse, but what are you two doing spying on Pops?"

Neither of the two were able to find an answer to the question without sounding like stalkers.

"Whatever you guys are doing right now, you better not bother Pops, I don't think he has fully recovered from what happened to his father so you two better leave him alone!" said Skips before skipping off.

"Geez, what's his problem? He really needs to get laid, literally!" said Rigby.

"Dude, do you even know what _literal_ means?" asked Mordecai.

"Who cares? It's not like it will matter or anything, besides, Skips does needs to get laid." Rigby answered.

Later that day, Mordecai and Rigby were playing a video game as they have often does. After losing handedly to Mordecai on the latest fighting game, the raccoon became frustrated and toss the control to the sofa.

"Arrrg, this game literally sucked!" he yelled.

"Dude, you did it again!" Mordecai said.

"What?"

"You said the game _literally_ sucked, you really have no idea what _literal_ even means do you?"

"Why do you care? I heard people using that as a sort of a expression, this shouldn't be a big deal!" said the raccoon.

"That's _figuratively_! _Figuratively_ is what used as a part of that sort of expression, not _literally..." said the blue jay._

Then he continues, "If you go and say that the game literally sucked, then the game would have been sucking on something!"

Rigby then visualize the game console offering to perform a sexual act toward Pops and shudders.

"Ew..."

However, Mordecai chose this as an opportunity to kick Rigby further.

"Not only that, maybe if you hadn't dropped out of high school, you probably would have known the difference between _figuratively_ and _literally_!"

This irks Rigby.

"That again, you better stop."

The blue jay grins and said, "In the end, who has a high school diploma?"

"Stop it!" the raccoon growls.

"What's even worse is that you failed in special education, ohhhhhhh!"

"YOU BASTARD! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I HAD BEEN THROUGH!"

* * *

_**In the spring of 2003...**_

One day in class, a huge kid named Steve was looking around when he saw Rigby sneezing. Being that Steve had a mental disorder that causes him to mutter "dumbass" to someone who sneezes, he quietly insults the raccoon.

Rigby heard it and said, "Steve, stop that!"

But then, Steve mutters, "Retard"...

"Stop it!"

"Retard."

"Stop it!"

"Retard!"

"Stop that!"

Eventually the whole thing would come to a stop as Rigby ends up taking the blame for the mess and was suspended. Bad enough that because Rigby had to take the "cheese bus", he was mocked by many who were "travel trained" because apparently, being able to take the public transportation all by yourself is really cool. I know how that felt, people can treat you like an idiot but on the bright side, at least those who had to take the yellow bus won't have to wait outside in the rain, not to mention it's more consistent than the "hit-or-miss" nature of the public transportation.

Then there was Chris, nicknamed "Pikachu" due to his obsession with the first generation of Pokemon which led to him being mocked. However, as long someone like Rigby exists, even Chris was able to receive some level of comfort knowing how much of an imbecile the raccoon is. Often times, Chris would call him "Rattatta" which annoys Rigby as he would often insist that he's a "Sentret".

Because it happened in the middle of the class, it led to further humiliation of the talking raccoon.

Rigby would never recover from that day.

Later on, during lunch time, at the cafeteria, the raccoon would get beaten up for his lunch money...the usual. But the problem is that after stealing his lunch money, one of the bullies would hold him down and drop the "mayo grenade" right in front of him, causing the mayonnaise to splatter all over the raccoon's face. This demonstrates that even in the special education portion of the school, there are thugs that exists...then again, that's probably the reason why they were there in the first place, just like that certain person who joked about killing his brother an-

"I get it already, stop talking nonsense, get back to the story!"

Okay fine...dumbass.

"STOP THAT!"

Picking on Rigby never gets old does it?

Anyway, back to the story, due to the constant problems he faced, as well as his horrific grades due to lack of motivation to succeed, the raccoon would eventually drop out of the school think that it's nothing more but a waste of time.

* * *

_**Back to the present...**_

"Besides, the only reason why I was in special education is because I heard the school works are much easier, but those kids...they're even worse than the ones I had in classes before I got there!" Rigby yelled.

"Actually, even if you haven't slacked off and got yourself demoted to special education, you still would have wind up there anyway." said Mordecai.

"What?"

"What I'm saying is...you're just not smart, remember, who was the one who dropped out?"

Rigby then runs out of the house screaming.

Thinking that Rigby will cry himself out, Mordecai simply waited until his friend returns. However, after an hour of waiting, the blue jay begins to feel guilty for making fun of his friend so he decides to look for him.

"Rigby, where are you? I'm here to apologize for what happen." he yelled.

There was no answer.

"Where could he be?" he wondered.

The blue jay then heads to Skips' garage in hope of finding the raccoon but to no avail.

When Mordecai explained to Skips about what happened, the yeti shook his head and said, "You shouldn't have said that to Rigby."

"I know and now I don't know where he is." said Mordecai.

"I do have an idea where he could be."

"Really, what is it? I need to know!"

The yeti sighed and said, "Remember the fight you two had?"

That's when Mordecai remember what happened that time.

One day, the two had an argument over who gets to be "Player 1" and often times, it gets settled through Mordecai's favorite pastime known as "punchies" in which he would break Rigby's arm. Because Rigby always loses in "punchies", the raccoon suffered from series of humiliation at the hands of other people as well, including Pops. One of the greatest injuries he had came from when he tried to challenge Skips to "punchies", only to wind up in the emergency room and from that day, he was known as the "One Cheek Wonder".

But then Rigby went to learn martial arts to exact his revenge and the mess was made when Mordecai did the same to stop him, resulting in a massive damage to the park.

"Oh crap!"

The blue jay then runs off.

After spending the next several hours looking for Rigby all over the city, the weary blue jay returns to the park where he would find a surprise that awaits him.

"Where have you been Mordecai" someone said with a sinister tone.

"Rigby?"

The raccoon gave an evil grin and said, "So I'm a loser for dropping out of high school am I? Today, I will make you regret what happened today!"

Stunned, Mordecai then said, "Okay...but what you just said seems a bit redundant..."

"Keep mocking me while you can, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can _literally_ hurt you!" Rigby yelled.

Suddenly, Mordecai finds himself being pelted by something and could see the words appearing out of nowhere as they begins to fly toward him like projectiles.

"What th-"


	7. War of Words

Fresh from his victory against Mordecai in his war of words, Rigby darts out of the house and scream, "WHO'S THE BEST!"

Then Muscle Man, hearing Rigby's screaming comes over and said, "Whoa, what are you being best at? Being a loser?"

Muscle Man and Hi-Fives Ghost begins to laugh.

Rigby grins as he said, "Hey Mitch, want to know what you are?"

"What?"

"You're literally a faggot!"

Suddenly, Muscle Man was changed into a bundle of sticks tied together.

Hi-Five became horrified by what he just saw.

"Rigby, what did you to to Muscle Man? Change him back, change him back!"

"No can do, just go away to...the North Pole, literally!" said the raccoon.

The ghost then disappears.

"Now, what should I do next?"

Then an idea pops right into the raccoon's head.

"WHO'S MOCKING WHO NOW HUH?" he screamed.

Meanwhile, Mordecai was beginning to regain consciousness when he woke up to see the entire room trashed with what appears to be words!

"What the hell just happened?" he thought.

Before he saw the damage, Mordecai thought it was a dream, but it turns out not to be the case.

"This can't be good."

The blue jay went to the room, figuring that his friend may brought something with him which led to such power. It doesn't take long for Mordecai to find a thick book with a golden pentagram inscribed into the cover.

"Where the hell did he get this?"

At the same time, Rigby being drunk with his new found ability begins to dominate the park when he starts using joggers and picnickers for his target practice, pelting them with literal meanings which distorts the reality itself.

"With this ability, I can literally take over the wor-no...not yet, I need to keep using it for a test drive!" he chuckled.

The raccoon went to look for Pop but then...

"Wait a minute...I can just bring him here." he said to himself.

"Pops is literally right in front of me!"

Then Pops appears right in front of Rigby.

The humanoid lollipop from Lolliland became frightened at what happened at first but as soon as he saw Rigby, he became relieved. Just when Pops was ready to greet Rigby in his usual manners, the raccoon said, "Pops, you're a fag, literally!"

Pops was then turned into a pack of cigarettes.

Rigby then picks up the pack and reads, "Lucky Strike?"

"What kind of a brand name was that? Good time as any to try how that feels."

After taking a puff, Rigby heads toward the house when the door was blasted right off the hinges, hitting the raccoon. Rigby then climbs out of the shattered pieces of the door to see the smoke covering the entrance.

"Who's there? Answer yourself! I've got the power to turn everything I say literal and I'm not afraid to use it!" he yelled.

Then the familiar voice answers, "I found your secret, now you're not the only one who can abuse the laws of reality and the literal meaning!"

"Mordecai?"

"Dude, you shouldn't have left the book in the room, never thought you would actually sell your soul to do that." said Mordecai.

"Ha, the joke's on you as you have done the same!" Rigby points out.

"So what? If that's what it takes to stop you, so be it!"

"You're on!"

The two then engage in the battle of words as they each yell out the sentence at the same time.

"Mordecai, you're literally a clay pigeon!"

"Rigby, you're literally a piece of crap!"

The two were stunned at the fact that nothing seems to happen.

"What's going on? Why didn't you turn into a clay pigeon?" Rigby yelled.

Then all of a sudden, there's a loud clap of lightning that can be heard and the sky begins to look as if it's about to shatter.

"Dude, I think we just damaged reality itself, we got to stop!" Mordecai panicked.

"Ha! You're scared aren't you? I'm just getting started!" Rigby laughed.

"I mean it, if the sky shatters, we're all gonna die!" Mordecai yelled.

"C'mon, we both sold our souls, we're as good as dead anyway!" said the raccoon.

Knowing that Rigby will take advantage, just a split second before the raccoon would say something toward him that could change him, Mordecai then said, "Nothing you say will literally affect me, but seriously, we need to stop!"

"You bastard, that's a cheap move man! If you're gonna play it like that, fine!" Rigby yelled.

"Let me do the same...Mordecai, my words will literally destroy your protection, ha! Take this Mordecai!"

Another clap was heard from the sky and some of the pieces of the sky disappears, unveiling a vacuum that begins to suck in everything in its path. It didn't take long for some of the buildings including the entire house and the garage to be pulled up into the sky, revealing Skips who then desperately clings to the bench that had been super glued to the ground by Rigby as a prank a year ago.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" Skips screamed.

Mordecai attempts to explain while holding onto the lamp post, screaming, "SKIPS, RIGBY...WE DID THE THING IN THE BOOK WITH THE STAR AND NOW..."

"IT'S YOUR FAULT! BECAUSE YOU REFUSED TO GO ON A TREASURE HUNTING WITH ME AND THIS HAPPENS!" Rigby cuts in.

"YOU WHAT? THAT BOOK...THAT'S A BOOK OF A SATANIC RITUAL, THE LOST VERSION! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?" Skips demanded.

"I WON'T TELL YOU, NOT UNTIL MORDECAI PROMISES TO HELP ME IN THE HUNT!" Rigby cried.

"IS THAT WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT? I THOUGHT IT WAS BECAUSE OF THE HIGH SCHOOL THING!" Mordecai screamed.

Seeing that the area is being pulled apart, having no choice, Mordecai then said, "RIGBY, I PROMISE THAT WE'LL GO ON A TREASURE HUNTING!"

"REALLY!" Rigby tearfully asked.

"YES, REALLY! NOW PLEASE STOP THIS!"

Then Rigby beings to sob uncontrollably.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW...WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE ANYWAY!" he cried.

Skips groans and said, "JUST USE YOUR POWERS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS, I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE!"

"JUST SAY THAT EVERYTHING IS LITERALLY BACK TO NORMAL!"

"WAIT A MINUTE! THAT'S RIGHT, WHY DIDN'T WE THINK OF THIS?" Mordecai screamed.

"I DON'T KNOW, LETS DO THIS!" Rigby answered.

"EVERYTHING WE DID SINCE THAT BOOK IS CANCELLED OUT, LITERALLY!"

"ON A COUNT TO 3, WE BOTH SAY THIS OUT LOUD TOGETHER!"

"1...2...3...EVERYTHING WE DID SINCE THAT BOOK IS CANCELLED OUT, LITERALLY!"

Soon, everything stopped for a second and then there was a sudden flash of light in which the book materializes out of nowhere despite being sucked into the vacuum when the entire house was picked up. In time, the book explodes and for a moment, Mordecai, Rigby, and Skips blacked out.

One by one, each of them begins to regain consciousness when Mordecai and Rigby saw the transparent copy of themselves dive right into them. Wondering what just happened, Skips explained that when the book was destroyed, the soul they sold have returned to them. Soon after that, the yeti proceeds to berate the two for nearly causing catastrophic disaster that could have destroyed the entire universe before skipping back to his now restored garage.

"I'm glad that's over with." said Mordecai.

"Yeah...so, do you want to go treasure hunting? I still have that map." said Rigby.

"Might as well, since everybody is back to normal, I'm sure they all remember what you have done to them too and because of this, I will get the blame because of you!" Mordecai yelled.

"Me? Maybe if you had agreed to come in the first place, I wouldn't have done this you asshole!" Rigby yelled as he jumps on Mordecai and soon, the two were at it again...

Few hours later at Skips' garage, the yeti begins to lie down due to his aching back when a giant bird climbs up to him. The bird then settles down as it proceeds to start laying on top of Skips.

"Feeling better?" the bird asked.

"Ah...now that's better." Skips answered.


	8. A New Adventure!

One morning, Skips calls the local clinic to schedule an appointment with a doctor.

"Hello, this is Skips, I'm calling to see if I could schedule an appointment with Dr..."

"No!" the receptionist interrupts before hanging up.

The sudden dismissal confuses the yeti.

"What's her problem?"

Meanwhile, at what was left of Maellard's family home, a blue jay and a raccoon made their way into the basement, with the former holding a treasure map they have found inside late Mr. Maellard's belongings.

"Okay, now according to this map, we should find the door somewhere in this basement..." said Mordecai.

Impatient, Rigby the said, "Where's the door? Where's the door? I can't find the door anywhere?"

"Where did the old man hid the stash?"

"Calm down Rigby, you're acting like you're going through a drug withdrawal." said Mordecai.

"How do you know?" his friend snapped.

Stunned by what his friend just said, the blue jay decides to forget what he have just heard and look back on the map.

"Anyway, it says that once we open the door, much more will be waiting for us...maybe we shouldn't take that chance, for all we know it could be a trick."

"Trick? You think the old man would create a map just to mess with people? Haven't you seen _City Slickers 2_? If there's a map, then it has to be real!" said Rigby.

"Does that includes maps from a board game?" asked Mordecai in a sarcastic tone.

"Shut up!" the raccoon yelled.

As the two begins to search all over the room for the hidden door, Mordecai slips on a piece of cloth and fell backwards onto a shelf, causing it to topple over onto him.

Alarmed, Rigby rushes to his friend, digging him out of a pile of dusty magazines and yell, "Mordecai, are you alright? Say something!"

The blue jay coughs and said, "I'm alright, I'm not going to die from these...hey, I didn't know the old man's into these kind of things." as he picks up a pornographic magazine lying right in front of him.

Rigby went to take a look at the magazine.

"OH GOD, MY EYES!"

"SICK!"

Mordecai toss the magazine in a random direction before he and Rigby ran up the stairs, washing their eyes on a fountain where the kitchen sink used to be. After spending several minutes trying to forget what they have seen, the two returns to the basement where Rigby notice something.

"Mordecai, look at the floor, there's the trap door!" the raccoon pointed out.

"It was cover by that piece of cloth, guess we should have looked under that rag." the blue jay sighed.

As the duo begins to open the door, for some reason it didn't budge.

"I think it's stuck." said Mordecai.

The raccoon then jumps on the trap door and said, "Let me try!", giving it a tug, only to come close to having his arms pulled right out of the sockets. That's when Mordecai stops his friend and said, "Lets do this together...on a count of three, we'll pull and maybe that door will finally open."

Rigby nods.

"Okay, lets do this!"

The two holds onto the handle and were ready to pull the door open.

"On a count of three...one...two...three!"

After a sudden tug, the door popped open and a bright light begins to suck the two groundskeepers into the portal, sending them flying into the another dimension.

Mordecai slowly opens his eyes and was in a groggy state, thinking what happened was all a crazy dream.

"Aw...hey Rigby, it's time to wake upppwaaa...the hell?"

The blue jay looks on in surprise as the two were in a middle of a jungle and was stunned by what he have seen when the raccoon woke up and said, "W-what happened?"

"I don't know dude, if I have to guess, I think we got there through the door in the old man's basement." Mordecai answers.

The blue jay picks up the map and to his surprise, everything have changed!

"Rigby, have a look at this, the map...everything...in this map, the background and the direction have changed!"

"I knew it!" Rigby yelled.

"What do you mean?" asked Mordecai.

"Don't you get it? Notice how weird it is for a map to looked like it's been scribbled? There's no way Pops' old man would put in less detail if he wants to mess with us, no way anybody would fall for that!" Rigby exclaimed.

"It's magic!"

Mordecai became further confused and said, "What?"

"Don't you get it Mordecai? It's definitely magic, it has to be!" Rigby yelled.

Knowing that it's pointless to argue with his friend further, the blue jay then sigh and said, "Alright Rigby, fine, it's magic, let's just get this one over with."

"See? I told you!"

As the two heads off to find the starting point on the map, Mordecai struggles to make out what the map is showing.

Weary of spending hours trying to find the spot, Rigby grew impatient and said, "Mordecai, give me that map, I'll show you how it's done."

"Fine!" the blue jay sighed as he hands over the map.

Rigby takes a look at the map and said, "Dude, we have been walking in the wrong direction all this time!"

"We'll need to head back to where we started and start from there."

"This is going to take a while, lets rest up for the night." said Mordecai.

Hearing some noises in the jungle, Rigby nods and said, "Good call."

The next morning, the duo climbs out of the bushes they used as a shelter and began their quest to find gold left by a dead old man. In doing so, they had to escape from wild animals trying to eat them in order to survive.

"RIGBY, WE MUST RUN ZIGZAG!" Mordecai screamed.

"WHY?" Rigby screamed back.

"I SAW THIS IN A MOVIE, YOU HAVE TO TRUST ME ON THIS!"

"IT BETTER WORK 'CUZ IF WE DIE, I'LL KILL YOU!"

Granted, Rigby killing him if they get eaten is the last thing Mordecai would have to worry about since it tends to be impossible for the raccoon to be able to hurt him, not to mention the fact that they would have been dead by then. However, the main concern is if they survive, will they be able to keep their job at the park once they finds a way to return?

The two groundskeeper caught a lucky break when they fell through what seems to be a sinkhole, sending them sliding down the chute. Soon, the two find themselves being shot out of the chute and right into what appears to be an underground lair.

"Where are we?"

Mordecai and Rigby then gets up to take a look around the room and notice there are several large computers surrounding the entire place except for the door. Having a feeling that they're not welcome in where they are, Mordecai said, "We better get out of here before some one finds us."

The raccoon scoffs.

"Are you kidding me? Look at his place, what are the odds of finding a computer room in a middle of the jungle? You know what we should do? How about we use these computers to help us find the stash where the old man have kept? That should save us all the trouble."

"What?"

"Think about it, we have just walked into a room that may have been a part of an underground lair run by a scientist and you know what scientists are."

"Well I do but..."

"Scientists are crazy geniuses who build things so they can take over the world! Maybe if we can use some of the stuff these geeks have to help ourselves, how about it?"

Mordecai became worried as he knows what Rigby is suggesting is something that usually don't end well, just like the majority of the times.

"Okay, you know what Mordecai? If you don't want to help me to do this, then I'll do it myself!" said Rigby as he runs to the control panels and begins pushing every buttons he sees.

"Dude, do you know what you're doing?" Mordecai asked.

"Of course I do, I saw this on TV, they always push every buttons they see until something happens, this always works!" said the raccoon.

Then suddenly, each and every screen went into a "blue screen of death" before blacking out. Shortly afterward, someone came into the room and pulls out a gun toward Rigby, not noticing the blue jay hiding right behind the door as he begins to yell, "Who are you and wha-" before the door slams into his face, knocking him unconscious.

"I knew this would happen." said the blue jay.

"Crap, they found us out, let's go before they catches us!" Rigby panicked.

"I know, that's what I warned you about, now let's go!" said Mordecai.

The two groundskeepers then sprints out of the room just as several security guards were sent to catch the intruders.

"Don't let them get away!"

As a rain of bullets were fired, Mordecai grabs a metal plate from one of the food service carts that have just been wheeled out of the cafeteria to deliver lunch to the workers in the underground lair. Using the metal plate to shield themselves from bullets, the bluejay the toss it at the security guards like a frisbee, only to miss by a foot though it did stopped them from firing for a brief moment due to a surprise at the attempted stunt. The timed delay allows Mordecai and Rigby to escape to the elevator where the guards then attempts to give chase, only to be impeded by several crashed food service carts that the two have pushed in hopes of slowing them down.

As soon as the elevator door opens, the two runs down the hall where they could hear several people running towards them from the corner.

"Damn it, even the lobby is swarmed with guards!"

That's when Rigby have a brilliant idea and said, "Mordecai, I got an idea, we must keep heading up!"

"What?"

"Trust me, even the elevator won't help us because they're using it right now!"

The raccoon points to the lights above the elevator, indicating that it is heading their way.

Still unsure, the blue jay knew there's no choice but to go along with the raccoon's plan.

"You better be right or we're both dead!"

"To the stairs!" Rigby yelled.

Amidst the gunfire, the two groundskeepers sprint their way toward the stairs while shielding themselves with any discarded items they could get their hands on. After making their way to the stairs, the duo then begins to climb their way to the top floor of the facility as the security guards and later, some of the mercenaries who were hired just a few days ago to target someone gathers in the lobby right in front of the stairs.

"Sheesh, I have gone through the trouble of getting to this shit hole to target that British agent and we get raided by two nobodies." said one of the mercenaries.

"It ain't our fault, the security in the facility is a joke, that damn scientist had to spend much of his focus on his work, this is a waste of time, I'm going to tell that chink that I'm quitting!"

Meanwhile at the top floor of the facility, Mordecai and Rigby, exhausted from climbing up several floors nonstop made their way to the window when the blue jay turns to his friend and said, "N-now what? T...t-this is it...there's no way out."

Spending a minute to catch his breath, Rigby said, "There is a way for..." before getting into a coughing fit.

"There...is a way for us to get out..."

The raccoon then points toward the window where a clothing line is attached, leading downward to what seems to be a storage room that the two have seen and raided several times at the park.

After regaining their breath, couldn't believe what the raccoon is suggesting, Mordecai looks at the clothing line and said, "How did...it's a zip line...since when do...why did this place have a freaking zip line?"

"I can't believe you Mordecai, we have been playing video games for most of our lives!" said Rigby.

"Yeah and as I recall, you sucked at them." said the blue jay.

"I'M NOT DONE TALKING!" the raccoon screamed.

"Anyway, the point is in every video games we played that has something like this, the enemy hideout always have a zip line, I don't know why but they always do so I knew they have something like this!"

Mordecai had no time to argue as he and his friend were under fire once again.

"Mordecai, we have to use the zip line!" the raccon shouts.

"Okay, but we need something to help glide us down the zip line...Rigby, remember the vintage _Ole English 800_ T-Shirt? You always carry that ever since you won the raffle at the park fair last year, we could use it to help us glide down the zip line." said Mordecai.

"NO!" Rigby screamed.

"WHY NOT? WE'RE UNDER FIRE, WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME!" Mordecai screamed back.

"BUT THERE'S HARDLY ANY LEFT, I CAN'T DESTROY THIS!" the raccoon cried.

"WE'RE GONNA DIE BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T USE THE SHIRT, ARE YOU OKAY WITH THAT?"

"NO!"

"FINE, I'LL JUST THROW YOU OFF INSTEAD!"

Hearing this, the raccoon knew there is no choice, he'll have to sacrifice his prized T-shirt.

Reluctantly handing his shirt over to Mordecai, the blue jay then hangs the clothing onto the line as the raccoon clings to him while sobbing over the impending loss of his shirt.

"HANG ON TIGHT!"

With his friend clinging onto him, the blue jay then leaps off the ledge and glides toward the other end.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"

The two then crash through the window and were send flying into the crates.

"Aw man, my head!"

"Felt like I have been thrown through Muscle Man's trailer."

The two made their way out of the shed and saw that the coast is clear, enabling them to make their escape.

"I'm glad that's over with...although it won't bring back my shirt." Rigby mutters.

"Still whining about that shirt? If it makes you happy, it did saved us." said Mordecai.

"Yeah, maybe you're right, if it weren't for that shirt we'd be dead!"

"Exactly, that sacrifice isn't for nothing!"

After beginning their trek down the jungle, what the two groundskeepers didn't realize is that several men have been keeping their watch on them, aiming their weapons at the two, ready to fire when one of them receives a message from the walkie-talkie.

"Yes sir, we followed those two intruders as you have instructed us to, should be execute them for trying to ruin our operation?"

_No, just follow them for a while._

_That way we'll know who these two happens to be working for and as soon as you have done so, pull back!_

Back at the lair, several mercenaries were arguing at each other regarding who let the two intruders escape when a door opens. An Asian man in a lab coat walks into a room and to each of the mercenary's surprise, in place of hands were a pair of metal pincers.

"I'm sure each and every one of you know the reason why I called you here." he said.

"When I hired you, I expect you to get the job done as efficiently as possible but instead, when a couple of intruders broke into the lair through the vent, you have failed the task that have been presented towards you."

Angered by this, one of the mercenaries protests.

"This isn't my fault, those fools you have hired along with me couldn't shoot straight and they got in my w-" before being cut off by a loud bang.

The mercenary then clutch his chest as he begins to keel over into a pool of his own blood.

The scientist then motions one of his guards to put his weapon down and said, "That will be enough for today, I'm sure the rest of our friends will learn their lesson as not to shift blame onto other people."

The rest of the mercenaries realize they have been surrounded and turns to look at the scientist who continues, "As you all know, I do not tolerate failure, for that, I no longer require your services so you may all depart without any trouble."

The guards then opens the door and allows the mercenaries to leave the room on their way to the exit. As soon as they have done so, one of them asked the guard, "Are we going to get our guns back?"

"You will once its safe enough to do so, now go!" said the guard.

Awhile later, the mercenaries made their way to the bus station, waiting for a ride to the hotel when they notice three elderly blind men walking by, each of them holding a cane in one hand while the other holds small tin can begging for a change. Amused by this sight, the mercenaries turns away when each of the three elderly beggars suddenly pulls out their guns, opening fire at the men before they could react to the sudden ambush.

"Now it's safe enough to return your weapons!"


End file.
